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New Friends but Worse
By Dan Dingle
(starts at 10:29)


[Verse 1 - Yoda]
happy to have made new friends I am
cooking up these lines in my fry-ing pan
right now, me feel a force in the disturbance
but how!?!?
tension's rising to the surface!

have I bad feeling about this, I do
medorahumbe!
oh ro!
is that the mystery crew?

concern yoda has, (aah!)
this doesn't help dentistry degree.....!
concerned yoda is,
we about to be history!

[Verse 2 - Doofenshmirtz]
Hey, everyone! what the hell's wrong with Yoda?
maybe I can fix hiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmm
with my Yoda-inator!
WAIT, what's that sound?
see ya' later, alligator.

(uuuhhh... DAMNIT!)

[Verse 3 - Walt Disney]
It's Walt Disney, to audiences I pander...
oh SHIT! is that motherfuckin...
(Homelander?)
Oh wuuhh!

shawsty, and my only voldemort
(HEY!)
(Ho!)
Honey Harvey, I don't see him
aaaaaaaaaaa-OH-OH-OH-OH
(clicking)
MAMA MIA!!!!!!!!!
(hey..! oh..!)
(GREAT to SEE YA'!)
(REH GOLD...)

[Verse 4 - Homelander]
look at that prick, in his little purple- SO WEEGEE IF YOU PRAYERMEN I.T.
(hey!)

[Verse 5 - Joker]
a shouter he piped up, she said "no but shut", yep, peak a no rush worse, stay
(HAAUGH HUH)
(ACHOO)
you think you wouldn't miss?
pucker up son, lemme give you a kiss.
it's hefty mama so! gets LASEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEDDDD...!

[Verse 6 - Homelander]
thanks for the kiss, but that shit ain't gonna save you...
now you're dead like the rest of your crew...
HOMELANDER LASERS THE OTHERS, EVERYBODY IS NOW DEAD! SORRY AUDIENCE!

All the paper towels
(All the paper towels)
All the paper towels
(All the paper towels)
All the paper towels
(All the paper towels)
All the paper towels
Now listen up you ol’ flutes...

Im in Primary School,
Trying not to drool,
Flicking through my Pokemon cards. (Bulbasaur!)

I look to my right,
I see Miss Uptight,
I know she’s gonna shout at me.

She sees my Pikachu,
My Raichu too,
She confiscates my entire book.

I am fuming,
Revenge is looming,
I’m gonna take a poo on her car...

Cause if you broke it then you put a paper towel on it,
If you broke it then you put a paper towel on it,
Don’t cry, don’t moan, just smile through it,
If you broke it then you put a paper towel on it.

Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow.

I’m in lesson one,
I see my number one,
I’m scared to talk to her. (Oh god)

She looks up,
I look down,
How the hell do I approach her?
(How the hell?)

Play the recorder,
Sing Kumbaya,
Yes or no rubber.

Throw it in the air,
Please be fair,
We both just stop and stare.

Cause if you broke it then you put a paper towel on it,
If you broke it then you put a paper towel on it,
Don’t cry, don’t moan, just smile through it,
If you broke it then you put a paper towel on it.

Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow ow ow ow,
Ow ow ow.

Don’t send me to face that wall,
I’m not that kind of boy,
Jesus classics are what I prefer, what I deserve.

I’m thinking motivating, rejuvenating words like I was cold, I was naked, were you there - were you there...
Nah mate I can’t reach those notes I ain’t Adele!

Gimme those PE shoes,
Lean back on that damn chair,
Stevie you’re such an idiot,
I know you are but what am I...

All the broken toes,
All the broken necks,
All the broken hearts,
All the broken parts.

All the broken toes,
All the broken necks,
All the broken hearts,
Now listen up you ol’ flutes.

Brother. Get the flamer!

The heavy flamer?

Olive Oil Ocean, what's the commotion?
Oh, is that a tank? C'mon, well let's show 'em
The fruits of our labor, that oil we savour
The sunk cost fallacy, metal roof praisers
The girl, Cherry Trunk, the big boss shark
With some rockin' socking robots
Cause her toys were out of stock
So she made an oil ocean,
And then she dropped some sharks in
And then she made us and gave us the wrong direction
So, our bot was built out of sticks and twine
It's amazing that it works nine percent of the time!
Our materials are dubious, engineers studious
I built a brick to get here, I walk a straight line
(at 0:27)

Bring it 🔥🔥🔥

Giddy up, giddy up,
and you best not stop
Got a bucket and a pail
and a bowl full of soup