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Ok

How did I not murder a topic wow that's insane

As the post killer(literally no one talks once I talk) I'ma kill this post for no reason

then why does mushroom gorge and shrpom ridge exist?

They're honestly importing mario kart tour tracks.

also troy made a video on mk8dx before booster pass and he said they will be future tracks.


he included mushroom gorge, shroom ridge, volcanic cave and ds rainbow road. funny how mushroom gorge and shroom ridge are actually in mario kart 8 deluxe booster pass, so based on that, I am going to predict volcanic cave and ds rainbow road will be in the booster pass, but not wave 3/4. Prob wave 6, but that's a guess.

honestly, why is everyone going balls about booster pass? it's just importing a bunch of mario kart tour tracks in mario kart 8 deluxe

I am skilled at Neo Bowser City.

Cocaine Bear

Yep, I am ranking again. I am ranking the Mario karts based on how balanced they are, like if we get OP items to counter OP CPUs or if 1st place 4 times is a challenging task to accomplish on 150cc.

I will rate them on how hard is it to beat the game. However, both too easy and too hard are bad. Just saying.

9. Super Mario Kart
Of course they had to put stupidly OP AI with special items, invincibility to red shells, and rubber banding. What do they give us? The rare lap skipping feather that practically occurs once in a blue moon. Trust me, getting the alcohol drink is a nightmare. However I have massive respect for those who beat the entire game without raging.

8. Mario Kart Super Circuit
The AIs are a piece of cake unlike Super Mario Kart, issue is the game won't give you triple stars if you are too good of a player, it's so goofy that even using a red shell will give you negative points.

7. Mario Kart 8
At this rate, I will bring up meta combo, so now we have to worry about vehicle balancing. Speed is the way to go, and fire hopping is too good. Also, there are no double item boxes, so you get infinite coins and you get red shelled a million times due to that.

6. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
It suffers more from the meta combo, as we went from badass characters on baby toys to now somewhat baby characters on baby toys. Now we have to worry about two red shells instead of 1. Thank God we don't get 2 coins.

5. Mario Kart Wii
The vehicles are too unbalanced and there's way too much goofy glitches. Also the CPUs are really weak so they can't do much.

4. Mario Kart Double Dash
Only issue is some items are better than others, and King Boo and Petey are too good(they should have brung the boo back for them ngl but then there is no point of getting them). However, there is snaking for us in case the enemy uses their OP special item.

3. Mario Kart 64
Hot take: Mario Kart 64 rubber banding isn't a nightmare. You get golden shrooms and stars in second place to balance it out. The glitches can be goofy, but you need mushrooms for them to work most of the time. However if you're too far ahead, the AI uses a bullet bill then gets close to you.

2. Mario Kart DS
Only issue is snaking. However, you can avoid snaking entirely and still win. There's also side spinning red shells, but if you are a snake a holic, you would survive with banana defense.

1. Mario Kart 7
I dunno why Bandy complains about bad item balancing, he says a million blue shells hit per race, but if you front run the game, it's ok. The CPUs aren't even that good tbh.

10. GBA Mario Circuit - 8 Deluxe remake
The simple turns and that one section where they made the track no longer flat was just enough. However a tiny nitpick would be to place this map before Moo Moo in the Shell Cup as it's the Mario kart stadium of retro maps
9. GCN Luigi Circuit
Something about annoying 8th place and 7th place with your own special items makes this map charming
8. DS Mario Circuit - 8 Deluxe remake
The original was meh, the new one is also meh, but the amount of shortcuts snaking zones and that one wiggler randomly existing near the end makes this enjoyable somehow
7. Mario Circuit - Mario Kart 8
Figure 8 Circuit but upside down and ACTUAL FUCKING DETAILS
6. Mario Circuit - Mario Kart 7
The mushroom and peaches castle near the end is why everyone loves it. Overrated but still good.
5. Luigi Circuit - Mario Kart Wii
EXTREME HOT TAKE: Turns are basic in an oval, but the ending section just showed the definition of Mario Kart Wii with a ramp troll, slow booster pads and a thick shortcut that's normally hard to pull off.
4. Toad Circuit - Mario Kart 7/8 Deluxe
Both are amazing extremely boiling take, the turns are simple, and this is what Figure 8 Circuit should've been.
3. Yoshi Circuit - Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
No funny double shortcut, still fun
2. Yoshi Circuit - Mario Kart Double Dash
Double shortcut is amazing
1. Hyrule Circuit - Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
Do I need to explain the ridiculous amount of Zelda lore they placed in here

My opinion so sorry if I offend you.

10(tie). Wii U/3DS remake of SNES Rainbow road

I don't care about sexy Wii U/Switch HD, I only care if the map feels like an adventure. They could've given this map a glow up, but all they did was spam ramps everywhere. Just a few turns and it ends very fast

9. Mario Kart 64 Rainbow road
Takes a million fucking years to compl- er I mean 6 minutes to complete. It's a bit ambitious if it's own, trying to give a happy adventure of the fun you had with Mario and bros racing, but if it was one lap it would make sense. Also as a 2008 born kid, no nostalgia.

8. GBA rainbow road
A flat map with some turns and boosts sprinkled everywhere. Ramp walls is a fun gimmick and whereas it is mediocre in comparison to other Mario karts, somehow the better super circuit maps like this one can compete with other maps

7. WiiU/Switch remake of N64 Rainbow road

One lap is good enough tbh. No longer feels like a time where you recall memories of racing with Mario and bros unfortunately.

6. DS Rainbow road
Hot take: I want this rainbow road to be in booster pass as this feels like it would fit Mario Kart 8 Deluxe anti gravity and gliders and Mario Kart Wii's rainbow road is already solid. Feels like N64 Rainbow road without walls at first, but becomes it's own beast being carried by corkscrew and loop

5. Wii Rainbow road
Hot take: this rainbow road doesn't have much unique things going for it except at the end. It's good for a rainbow road, but it doesn't give the feeling of going on an adventure

4. GameCube rainbow road
It feels like DK mountain but rainbow, but it does have fun turns and feels like you're driving off a rainbow cliff then to get pulled by god back up as he doesn't want you to die.

3. WiiU rainbow road
Hot take: I love this rainbow road. You start off with some goofy ahh turns like a roller coaster, toad's telling you "enjoy!" then to fly off into a space station that gives some big blue charm, after that is the fun part of the roller coaster the decision making the extreme shortcuts then the Special Cup trophy there showing you're a winner for beating Mario Kart 8/Deluxe.

2. Switch remake of 3DS rainbow road
I remember some guy telling me the old 3DS rainbow road is better with having actual anti gravity with moon jumping and the shortcut at the corner. Still an adventure

1. 3DS rainbow road.
You start off with the rainbow being used to the rainbow start, then you're blown off with a planet close up, a fun loop, then to jump on a mushroom, flying on the rings of Saturn, then to go back to the rainbow just to play on the moon with chain chomps, then speed up in a star barrel with many decisions to make then to make a sharp turn near the end. That's called a banger.

I use Rosalina Comet Roller Paper Glider

I swear I know red shells are annoying in any Mario Kart after double dash, but in 8 it's especially annoying since you always get a coin. I mean in other Mario karts there's the FIB but it isn't as common as the coin

Super MK:
How the AIs are annoying: special items and evading red shells
How we are supposed to cope: feather hopping
Atrocious rating: 5/5

MK64:
How the AIs are annoying: Rubber banding
How we are supposed to cope: OP items in 2nd place
Atrocious rating: 3.5/5

MKSC:
How the AIs are annoying: it's not the AIs being annoying it's the goofy star system
How we are supposed to cope: play bad on purpose
Atrocious rating: 4/5(AIs are bad, but rocket starts give negative points)
MKDD:
How the AIs are annoying: OP special items
How we are supposed to cope: OP special items
Atrocious rating: 2/5(balanced tbh)
MKDS:
How the AIs are annoying: random speed ups
How we are supposed to cope: snaking?
Atrocious rating: 2/5
MKWii
How the AIs are annoying: Not annoying?
How we are supposed to cope: Nothing?
Atrocious rating: 1/5
MK7
How the AIs are annoying: Nothing?
How we are supposed to cope: Nothing?
Atrocious rating: 1/5

Hot take warning

MK8/DX
How the AIs are annoying: Red shell AK47(they have a million red shells per race or it's probably me getting a million coins per race?)
How we are supposed to cope: taking corners and getting out of the red shell range
Atrocious rating: 4/5(I mean GPs are easy, it's just red shell minigun)

everyone knows 6 tracks are confirmed: the last 4 tour tracks, Wii RR, SNES BC3.
The 2 "GCN" ones? Maybe. There's Mushroom Bridge, Dino Dino Jungle, and DK Mountain. Problem with Mushroom Bridge is Moonview Highway exists, so that's def a no. It's arguably DK Mountain/Dino Dino Jungle, and probably weird one, but Wii Daisy Circuit/SNES Vanilla Lake

8. SNES
A bunch of L's, U's, and O's with the only exception being Mario Circuit 2. Also practically only 3-5 maps with 8 colors.

7. GBA
Imported all the SNES trash, but for a 2D game, they made their maps long like 64 so game feels sluggish.

6. DS
Hot take: MKDS maps suck. Retro wise they got the SNES trash, oofed the GCN tracks, N64 and GBA tracks are ok but some boring maps where chosen(Peach Circuit, Moo Moo Farm, etc.) Nitro wise, some are amazing like Bowsers Castle and Luigi's mansion, while others are atrocious like Waluigi Pinball(skill issue I keep dying to the pinballs) and Figure 8 Circuit.

5. 64
The maps are ok, but really long. They're still fun tho.

4. 3DS
Fucked up the Wii maps the other retro tracks were ok. The nitro tracks... Jesus Christ they were amazing.

3. Wii
Same case as 7, just better nitro tracks(imo)

2. GCN
No retro tracks, all are amazing except the Mario Circuit sand pit chunk

1. WiiU/Switch
Although they fucked up a couple of tracks they have insane quality

Mickey Mouse when I was a Kindergartener, Spongebob when I was in elementary school, middle school(and high school which I am currently in) nothing.

But overall:
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Doraemon
Spongebob
Teen Titans Go
Amazing World of Gumball
Regular Show
The Loud House

A bunch of Cable and youtube ngl

Used to be only Waluigi Wario Dry Bowser Roy Donkey Kong with Scooty Bittybug Wiggler Standard Bike and rollers/paper glider.

Update 1 got Rosalina King Boo Link Bowser and Morton buffed making all heavies viable except Metal Mario PGP and Petey. Teddy Buggy and Cat Cruiser got buffed while Scooty Bittybug Standard Bike and Wiggler got nerfed, but they’re still great, just on the same leg as Pipe Frame Varmint City Tripper Streetle and Landship. Rollers still meta

Update 2 got all Middleweight characters buffed so Yoshi would be as meta as Rosalina (and my favorite character Luigi is finally meta. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-. Just Koopa and I will be happy) and Pipe Frame Varmint City Tripper Streetle and Landship got buffed to be on the same leg as Teddy Buggy and Cat Cruiser.

Note I didn’t mention some with the same stats as the meta, such as the Silver Arrow or the Yoshi Bike since they are either too long or they have inside drift which makes it trash. Also Blue Falcon and Splat Buggy are A tier if paired with rollers, and Mach 8 Sports Coupe Inkstriker paired with Leaf and Button solo’s anti grav.

Peace ✌️

Wait people have an elephant fetish? I know this is kink shaming but WTF people, but what is even worse is Nintendo is promoting this shit. WTF. At this rate, dunno what could happen

1. SNES Vanilla Lake 2
2. SNES Vanilla Lake 1
3. SNES Choco Mounds 2
4. SNES Choco Mounds 1
5. DS Figure 8 Circuit
6. SNES Donut Plains 3
7. SNES Rainbow Road
8. SNES Koopa Beach 1
9. GBA Peach Circuit
10. SNES Mario Circuit 3

1. Mario Kart 8 and Deluxe are mid aside from having insane maps.
2. Nintendo's older mario karts(pre Mario kart 7) except super circuit and snes are better than the modern mario karts
3. Mario Kart Wii's thundercloud isn't the worst, just poorly executed
4. Waluigi Spear is better than the dumb Funky Flamer spam and the Daisy Mach Bike spam
5. What the fuck is wrong with the meta for mario kart 8 deluxe it's literally heavy badass characters Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, and Dry Bowser riding baby vehicles.
6. DK Jungle Parkway sucks in Mario Kart Wii only known for that huge ass jump
7. Mario Kart PC should import all of hoppingicon's maps
8. Nerf the daisy in MKPC she is too cracked

Yeah I am done ranting