Toad-al Drama Reload
1147 - 
15606 pts ★ Master
5565 pts ★ NoviceOn 2024-08-06 at 23:52:51
After vacation, a cold, and 2 rounds of wisdom teeth removal, one of which was this morning, I think my schedule is free enough now to premiere the season by August 26th. I'm working on the episode 1 challenge, which will probably be the end of that episode, so I should be done by then, right? The final cast reveals should be out soon. Mark your calendars! It's finally happening! 
On 2024-08-09 at 15:40:47
Next 3 cast reveals!
Ele
Eloise
Georgia
Ele
Eloise
Georgia
On 2024-08-12 at 14:33:55
YES! The first episode is finally finished!
To celebrate, here are the final 3 campers you'll see this season.
Kit
Bruce
Laura
To celebrate, here are the final 3 campers you'll see this season.
Kit
Bruce
Laura
On 2024-08-14 at 14:47:29
Screw it. What's the point of waiting if I'm already done writing it. Here's Episode 1- Back to the Island.
•
Early in the afternoon on Camp Yobishiko, Lakitu prepares to start a new chapter of Toad-al Drama.
Lakitu: Did you miss us? We know, last season was a huge disappointment. Your favorite contestants became game bots with no personality. We had just four more episodes to air, but we couldn’t find any good content. But we’re back, and this time, we’re taking it to our roots. We have 15-ish new campers ready to do whatever it takes to win the million-coin prize here at our run-down summer camp. Let’s see who they are.
The first boat pulls up to the Dock of Shame, and a red Yoshi with spiky blue hair and brown shoes steps down.
Lakitu: Our first camper this season is Chilli!
Chilli: You’re not gonna cancel this one, are you?
Lakitu: Since when have I ever canceled a season of Toad-al Drama? We just take them off the air, that’s all. Our next camper is a very creative fella, please welcome Andy!
A light-blue Yoshi wearing a yellow t-shirt and paint-splattered overalls steps foot on the island.
Lakitu: So, Andy, I heard you have an interesting reason for being here.
Andy: *sigh* Wild Wings are expensive and I shouldn’t have spilled bright yellow paint all over my dad’s. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Lakitu: Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who hasn’t already heard. Up next is… a jock? How unique. Fine, here’s Bill.
A yellow-shelled Koopa Troopa wearing a light-blue football uniform arrives, and gets mixed reactions from the other two campers.
Bill: What’s up, guys?
Chilli: Nice, I definitely want you on my team.
Andy: Eh, I could care less.
Lakitu: Don’t worry, there will be plenty more people to pine for, like Marty.
A teal-colored Wubba slides his way to the others.
Lakitu: How ya doin’ today?
Marty: I was hoping to get on the real Total Drama, but this works too I guess.
Everyone else looks at each other puzzled.
Andy: The… real… Total Drama?
Marty: Yeah. I’ve always wanted to go head-to-head with Alejandro, Gwen, Jo, maybe even meet Ella. Oh, what I would give to live her fairytale life with her.
Lakitu: That’s just a cartoon, dude.
Marty: Sure, and this is just a fanfic?
Lakitu: Uh… let’s move on. Ella’s not real, but we have some girls of our own coming soon. Nevaeh, anyone?
A purple Birdo stomps off the boat. She wears a black vest, and a pair of rocker boots with her toes tearing out. She also has pink, blue, and green spikes along her head and back. Everyone else stands still shaking as she comes closer and closer.
Nevaeh: How’s it going, Lakitu?
Lakitu: Pretty good, thanks for asking. Doubt you’ll get much from your fellow campers though.
She turns her head and notices the shaking.
Nevaeh: Yeah, that’s gonna be a problem. I’m sure they’ll get used to it.
Lakitu: Let’s keep it moving with Nicole!
An orange Toad with a green vest arrives, both confused and excited.
Lakitu: You okay, Nicole?
Nicole: Yep. It’s just that my bestie Leia’s coming along, and I’m kinda waiting for her.
Lakitu: Well then… let’s meet our next camper, Ada!
A green Shy Guy with orange shoes steps off the boat. Nicole, realizing that wasn’t her bestie, hesitantly joins the other campers, with Ada soon following.
Lakitu: Anything you wanna say?
Ada: To you, the other players, the people at home?
Lakitu: Well, I heard you’re an inventor. What’s the coolest thing you’ve created?
Ada: A Roomba mod that tracks down mice and traps them for you so you don’t have to lure them to the trap yourself.
Lakitu: And you’re only 13?
Ada: Yep.
Lakitu: Moving on. I was gonna save the best for last, but since we’re halfway through the reveal, I’m gonna do this now. Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou my lovely daughter?
A blue-shelled Lakitu floats to the island in her cloud, with her jaw dropped, and blushing.
Juliet: You promised you would keep this a secret!
Lakitu: Nuh-uh-uh, I promised I’d TRY to keep this a secret. There’s a difference.
Juliet (confessional): Living with my dad certainly isn’t easy. You can’t relax for an hour, and I have to pee in the woods if I want any privacy. There’s no woods where we live.
Chilli: You seem nice.
Nevaeh: I see host bias all over.
Juliet: Are we gonna have a problem?
Nevaeh: Why? Do you want one? ‘Cause I certainly don’t.
Lakitu: While you two continue that sweet, sweet drama, let’s bring out our next contestant, Mack!
A light-red Boo wearing a blue cape and top hat floats onto the scene.
Mack: Not bad, this is quite the cast you’ve put together.
Noticing Nicole isolating herself, Mack turns himself into a red Toad, hoping to make her not feel so alone.
Nicole: How did you do that?
Mack: Oh, it’s a power a lot of Boos have. But nobody seems to use it, if Rocky’s anything to go by.
Marty: Ooh, can you do me next?
Mack: Sorry, I haven’t learned Wubbas yet.
Lakitu: What we can learn is our next camper, or should I say campers-
A staff member whispers something into Lakitu’s ear.
Lakitu: Nevermind, Ele isn’t here yet. Onto Eloise then!
A blue Dry Bones steps onto the beach, wearing a red dress and sandals.
Lakitu: How are you doing, Eloise?
Eloise: Like a hiker ready to hit the trail, but not knowing what lies ahead of her.
Everyone goes silent.
Ada: Excited but nervous?
Eloise: Perhaps.
Bill: What do you mean “perhaps?”
Eloise: Your tongue is not the same as mine, but if we try, we’ll be just fine.
Juliet: Riddles AND rhymes. Can’t wait for our team to be obliterated by poor communication.
Eloise (confessional): I’m getting the feeling I’m like a polluted sky.
Lakitu: Moving on. Come on in, Georgia!
A yellow Birdo wearing a red dress, and a purple hat with a green ribbon, struts the Dock of Shame. She and Andy then see each other and automatically feel a connection.
Andy + Georgia: Yes.
Juliet (confessional): Seriously? They didn’t even try to hide that. We don’t even have teams yet and we already have our first alliance of the season. I don’t know if they’re a couple or just friends, but they’re gonna be dangerous, especially if they’re with me.
Lakitu: Wow, that was fast! What was going on then?
Georgia: I know all the trends, past, present, and future, so seeing someone else so passionate for art was like a dream come true for someone with my fashion sense.
Lakitu: While you two talk, I’m gonna introduce our youngest camper, Kit!
An adorable Piranha Plant with a light-blue head and purple spots trots along the dock, mouth wide open.
Kit: So this is what a summer camp’s like!
Lakitu: So, Kit, I’ve heard you’re on a mission.
Kit: Yep, explore every corner of the Mushroom World before I wilt. I’m only 12 years old right now, so I’ve got plenty of time yet.
Juliet: You’re only 12? You’re not even a real teen yet. What are you doing here?
Lakitu: That’s my Juliet. We have two more campers to introduce. The first of which is Bruce!
A purple Wiggler with orange shoes walks along the Dock of Shame.
Lakitu: What’s up, my dude?
Bruce: Well, I-
Suddenly, Nicole sprints over, stepping on Bruce’s foot, and tugs on Lakitu’s arm.
Nicole: Please, Lakitu! Leia had to have been cast, right? We auditioned together! Please!
Bruce: WATCH YOUR STEP, MISS!
Nicole (confessional): Here I am, terrible around strangers, hoping to play with Leia so she could support me. I just wish Bruce had some kind of heart.
Bruce (confessional): I have a heart, I just wish I could control my emotions. Wigglers are notorious for anger issues, which might be why they waited three seasons to cast one. I’m… gonna TRY to positively represent us.
Lakitu: Now’s the time to bring out our final camper! Here she is…
Nicole: Yes…
Lakitu: LLLLLLLLLLL…
Nicole: YES…
Lakitu: LAURA!
Nicole: NO!
Nicole (confessional): Okay, I should start drawing a map of hiding places.
A Magikoopa wearing an orange robe and light-blue hat flies to the island on her broomstick.
Lakitu: Welcome to the show, Laura.
Laura: Thanks. I knew my straight A history would get me here.
Chilli: Straight As? Whatever you’re doing, keep it up!
Nicole: This has to be a mistake! Leia and I were a 2-for-1 deal.
Lakitu: Welcome to Toad-al Drama? Not sure what else to tell ya.
Lakitu takes the campers to the two cabins they’ll be staying in for the next two weeks.
Lakitu: Let’s get to the teams, shall we? Andy, Georgia, Nevaeh, Juliet, Eloise, Chilli, Marty, Bruce, you are the Ravishing Ravens!
Georgia: Ravishing is the perfect word for us.
Juliet: I can agree on that one.
Lakitu: Bill, Mack, Nicole, Ada, Laura, Kit, you are the Bashful Bandits!
Laura: Uh, we’re down 2 members.
Lakitu: Ele will join you once he shows up. For now, just enjoy these next few hours before your first challenge of Toad-al! Drama! Reload!
The Ravishing Ravens bring their stuff into their cabin for the first time, and as they settle in, Nevaeh decides to try and fix her teammates’ impressions of her.
Nevaeh: Sorry about that. I’m in a rock band with my classmates, and this has pretty much become my regular style.
Andy: You’re in a rock band?
Marty: Can you sing for us?
Nevaeh: Oh, no, my singing voice is like Alanis Morrissette on drugs guest starring Taylor Swift.
Everyone just silently stares at her.
Nevaeh: It’s awful. That’s why I’m just the guitarist.
Georgia: You can still play us something. And Taylor Swift really isn’t that bad, so I doubt your voice is, either.
Nevaeh: Well… okay.
Nevaeh pulls out an acoustic guitar and prepares to play for her tiny audience.
Nevaeh: So, uhm, this is a song I just started writing last week. It’s still a work in progress, so… bear with me…
One day, we were driving 'round in your
Hyundai, when we hit downtown, and in
Some way, it came to me that
Maybe if we've known each other for…
Juliet: Okay, I think we’ve heard enough.
She sang like an ungodly abomination that would come from a goose and a frog drunk at a karaoke bar. One more line, and Juliet’s glasses may have shattered.
Nevaeh (confessional): I completely faked that. Grandma tells me my real singing voice is amazing, but I don’t like performing. I mean, obviously I do, but not that kind. Especially since I don’t want to take the spotlight away from our lead, Mitch. Shoutout to Mitch in the Glatrix! If you think the name’s dumb, you should see our drummer’s haircut.
Juliet pulls out her phone that she snuck in.
Juliet: Anyone up for a pizza party? You know, to celebrate our imminent victory?
Bruce: I don’t think we should-
Marty: Sounds cool. I’m in.
Andy: Where are we gonna get it from?
Juliet: There’s a Domino’s very close to us. We can order from there.
The team places their order, and almost immediately, a dark red Shy Guy in a chef hat comes to their cabin. He opens the door, and throws a big bowl of disgusting sludge at them.
Chef Guy: EAT UP, MOTHERF**KERS!
Juliet (confessional): Okay, who the hell asked for Chef Guy to come back? Did anyone care about him? Like… anyone?
Marty slides towards the sludge and swallows down a huge chunk.
Marty: Hey! Where’s the pepperoni?
Over at the Bashful Bandits, Bill was ready to explore what the island had in store for him.
Bill: Anyone up for a hike?
Kit: Ooh, yes. I would love to.
Bill: Anyone else?
Laura: As much as we would all like some fresh air, I think it would be safer for us to not expose ourselves to grizzly bears and mutant sharks, and bring down our numbers disadvantage even more.
Bill: If you say so.
The two head out and decide to walk up to that thousand-foot cliff from the start of season 1.
Bill: So, where are you from?
Kit: A bit of everywhere, really. I never stay in one place.
Bill: So you’re homeless?
Kit: No! No, I wouldn’t put it like that. I just like to wander around like a… what’s the word I’m looking for?
Bill: A nomad? No. A land pirate!
Kit: Yes! Just like that.
Bill: Can I call you Captain Kit?
Kit: Sure.
As the duo bonds, a third figure appears to them, a Shy Guy who seems to be on fire.
Ele: STOP! WHO GOES THERE?!
Kit: I’m Kit, and this is my new friend Bill. We’re a couple of campers here. Say, you must be that Ele guy Lakitu kept teasing. I think you’re on our team. He might still be on the dock if you wanna check in.
Ele: I’m not Ele.
A second Shy Guy seemingly made of water slides out from behind the fiery one.
Ele (F) + Ele (W): WE are Ele.
Ele (W): And what are you doing on OUR mountain?
Bill: Oh, really? How much did it cost to buy the camp?
Ele (W): I don’t think you understand just how powerful we are. We have skills in choking, stabbing, poisoning, wallet making-
Ele (F): WALLET MAKING?! You’re supposed to intimidate them!
Ele (W): I was just throwing them off guard. A moving target is a lot harder to kill. You should know that.
Ele (F): Let’s just cut to the chase.
A fight breaks out between the pairs. Bill attempts to punch the fiery being in the head, but ends up burning his head. Meanwhile, Kit tries to ram into his partner, only to go straight through him. Knowing physical contact wasn’t going to work, they were short on ideas.
Ele (F): Oh, no! Are you losing the 2-on-2? Maybe we should help you. Yes, we should.
Ele (W): How about we make it a 1-on-2? Both of you vs. just one of us. What do you say?
Ele (F): I say it’s mergin’ time.
Ele (W): No.
Ele (F): Why not?
Ele (W): That joke is so 2022.
Ele (F): Well can we fuse anyway?
Ele (W): Sure.
The two Eles soon become one, taking the form of a black-purple Shy Guy.
Ele: Is that better?
Bill: I think we should get out of here, Kit.
Bill takes a hold of Kit’s leafy arm and runs back to the cabin, only to be called back up as soon as they get there.
Lakitu: ATTENTION CAMPERS! I NOTICED BILL AND KIT FOUND THEIR LAST TEAMMATES, SO EVERYONE COME UP TO THE CLIFF FOR YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE OF THE SEASON!
After a tiring trek, the teams meet up with Lakitu, and notice that it looks all too familiar.
Lakitu: Welcome, campers. To celebrate the start of a soft reboot of the show, we’re bringing it back to season 1. To start, everyone will be asked to jump into the water below, which is infested with man-eating sharks. There is also a teeny tiny safe zone so that if we get sued for serious injuries, our lawyers can just say it was a skill issue. Anyone who refuses to jump will be forced to wear a Luigi hat for the rest of the day.
Laura: I’m pretty sure Luigi jumped last time.
Juliet: Can confirm.
Lakitu: Were either of you there? Didn’t think so. Now, as I was saying, the team with the most people to jump wins the challenge.
Andy: Woah, woah, woah, isn’t there supposed to be a part 2?
Lakitu: Sorry. Time constraints. This is probably the longest episode in the show’s history so far. But I will throw in an advantage tomorrow. In the meantime, Laura, what are you thinkin’?
Laura: Pro, a point for my team whether or not I make it. Con, I can’t take a shark. Pro, my wand probably can.
Laura jumps off the edge and lands right in the safe zone.
Lakitu: Show-off. Nicole, you wanna join her?
Nicole: Uhm… can someone go with me?
Lakitu: No problem. Ele? Oh, and by the way, you’re gonna have to split up.
Ele (F): Sorry. Fire and water don’t mix.
Ele (W): Alrighty then, coward.
The water half does a cannonball and makes a massive splash that blows some of the sharks away, while landing smackdab in the center of the safe zone
Ele (W): BET YOU CAN’T DO THAT!
Ele (F): Oh, watch me do better!
The fire half then does several flips into the water, but misses the safe zone by a couple yards. One of the sharks tries to eat him, but he instantly punches it to death, before tearing another one in half before eating it himself. Everyone else stares at what they just witnessed.
Lakitu: That… was not… supposed… to happen.
Ele (F): Think you’re so cool now?
Ele (W): Come on, we can kill sharks at any time! You weren’t even close to the safe zone, while I landed in the center and made a huge frickin’ splash!
Ele (F): So you made a splash, big deal.
Ele (W): It almost threw everyone else down the hill.
Ele (F): Shut up, I barely felt a thing!
Lakitu: Anyway, Nicole, you said you were gonna go.
Nicole: Uhm… I think I’ve changed my mind.
Ele (W) (confessional): If there’s one thing we can agree on…
Ele (F) (confessional): THIS GIRL IS F**KING USELESS!
Lakitu: Well, there’s our first Luigi hat of the day. Mack, do you want to avoid being the second, or being Ele’s lunch?
Mack shifts into a red-shelled Koopa and dives into the water, quickly swimming to the safe zone once he learned he didn’t make it in.
Lakitu: The Bashful Bandits currently have 4 points, while the Ravishing Ravens have nothing.
Bruce: Well maybe if you gave us a chance to get some points, we’d have some!
Lakitu: And just like that, Bruce has volunteered to be the Ravens’ premiere jumper!
Bruce: *sigh* Of course.
Bruce closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, jumps off the cliff, and lands in the safe zone.
Lakitu: And just like that, the Ravens are on the board! How about you, Nevaeh?
Without any hesitation, Nevaeh jumps off, also landing in the safe zone.
Nevaeh: WOOOO! THAT’S HOW YA DO IT!
Bruce: So, uhm… remind me what your name is?
Nevaeh: I’m Nevaeh, but you can call me N, Nev, Nevvy, V, Vivi, Veah, whatever works best for you.
Bruce: Nevaeh’s a pretty name.
Nevaeh: Really? Thanks.
Bruce: Anyways, outcast to outcast, I’m in need of a lot of help getting over my anger issues-
Nevaeh: Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I mean… I don’t really know how to stay calm myself, but you can always come to me if you have any problems.
Bruce: Thanks for your support.
Nevaeh: Anytime.
Nevaeh (confessional): I can see Bruce is trying very hard to keep it together, and I guess it’s very hard to do so when it’s in your DNA. He needs all the help he can get, and why wouldn’t I be there for him?
Lakitu: So, Marty…
Everyone hears a plop from down below, and see Kit floating in the water just outside the safe zone.
Kit: Not sure what everyone’s so scared about. This is kinda relaxing.
Lakitu: Let the free-for-all commence!
Marty considers jumping, but looks down and starts sliding back to the team’s mat before Lakitu takes off his hat and replaces it with a Luigi one.
Lakitu: I think green looks good on you. But I may or may not return this tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Georgia’s right on the edge, wondering whether to jump or not.
Georgia: So the Bandits are leading 5-2. Nicole and Marty, one from each team, have already said no, so assuming everyone else jumps down… oh boy.
Knowing her choice could be the decision between losing and just barely getting by, Georgia reluctantly jumps off the cliff, and purposefully lands outside the safe zone.
Lakitu: It’s 5-3 now still in favor of the Bandits, but I think Georgia has other things to worry about.
A hungry shark approaches her, but she stands still, while nobody else knows if it’s in fear, or intimidation. In reality, it’s a bit of both. The shark attacks, and bruises the girl until it decides it’s had enough.
Georgia: That should convince those Bandits how dangerous it is down here.
But sure enough, Bill from the other team jumps down, landing perfectly in the safe zone.
Lakitu: It’s 6-3 now! The Ravens are being obliterated!
Chilli: Think again!
Chilli and Juliet both dash off the cliff and land in the safe zone.
Lakitu: Yes! That’s my girl!
Chilli: What am I, a brown banana?
Lakitu: *sigh* And Chilli too.
Eloise and Andy are next in the water. With just one camper to go, it’s anyone’s game.
Lakitu: Ada, the score is 7-6 for the Ravens now. If you take the plunge, the score is tied.
Marty: So if that happens, do we both get the advantage?
Lakitu: No, blobblehead. If everyone has an advantage, nobody does.
Ada: Well, then. If we can’t have it, nobody can.
Ada dives in, securing the score 7-7.
Lakitu: Congratulations! You both lost!
Bill: Come on, nobody lost. It was a tie.
Lakitu: Well it wouldn’t be as interesting if I said everyone won. Anyways, nobody gets the advantage tomorrow. As for you guys at home, I hope you enjoyed this long-awaited season premiere of Toad-al! Drama! Reload!
•
Early in the afternoon on Camp Yobishiko, Lakitu prepares to start a new chapter of Toad-al Drama.
Lakitu: Did you miss us? We know, last season was a huge disappointment. Your favorite contestants became game bots with no personality. We had just four more episodes to air, but we couldn’t find any good content. But we’re back, and this time, we’re taking it to our roots. We have 15-ish new campers ready to do whatever it takes to win the million-coin prize here at our run-down summer camp. Let’s see who they are.
The first boat pulls up to the Dock of Shame, and a red Yoshi with spiky blue hair and brown shoes steps down.
Lakitu: Our first camper this season is Chilli!
Chilli: You’re not gonna cancel this one, are you?
Lakitu: Since when have I ever canceled a season of Toad-al Drama? We just take them off the air, that’s all. Our next camper is a very creative fella, please welcome Andy!
A light-blue Yoshi wearing a yellow t-shirt and paint-splattered overalls steps foot on the island.
Lakitu: So, Andy, I heard you have an interesting reason for being here.
Andy: *sigh* Wild Wings are expensive and I shouldn’t have spilled bright yellow paint all over my dad’s. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Lakitu: Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who hasn’t already heard. Up next is… a jock? How unique. Fine, here’s Bill.
A yellow-shelled Koopa Troopa wearing a light-blue football uniform arrives, and gets mixed reactions from the other two campers.
Bill: What’s up, guys?
Chilli: Nice, I definitely want you on my team.
Andy: Eh, I could care less.
Lakitu: Don’t worry, there will be plenty more people to pine for, like Marty.
A teal-colored Wubba slides his way to the others.
Lakitu: How ya doin’ today?
Marty: I was hoping to get on the real Total Drama, but this works too I guess.
Everyone else looks at each other puzzled.
Andy: The… real… Total Drama?
Marty: Yeah. I’ve always wanted to go head-to-head with Alejandro, Gwen, Jo, maybe even meet Ella. Oh, what I would give to live her fairytale life with her.
Lakitu: That’s just a cartoon, dude.
Marty: Sure, and this is just a fanfic?
Lakitu: Uh… let’s move on. Ella’s not real, but we have some girls of our own coming soon. Nevaeh, anyone?
A purple Birdo stomps off the boat. She wears a black vest, and a pair of rocker boots with her toes tearing out. She also has pink, blue, and green spikes along her head and back. Everyone else stands still shaking as she comes closer and closer.
Nevaeh: How’s it going, Lakitu?
Lakitu: Pretty good, thanks for asking. Doubt you’ll get much from your fellow campers though.
She turns her head and notices the shaking.
Nevaeh: Yeah, that’s gonna be a problem. I’m sure they’ll get used to it.
Lakitu: Let’s keep it moving with Nicole!
An orange Toad with a green vest arrives, both confused and excited.
Lakitu: You okay, Nicole?
Nicole: Yep. It’s just that my bestie Leia’s coming along, and I’m kinda waiting for her.
Lakitu: Well then… let’s meet our next camper, Ada!
A green Shy Guy with orange shoes steps off the boat. Nicole, realizing that wasn’t her bestie, hesitantly joins the other campers, with Ada soon following.
Lakitu: Anything you wanna say?
Ada: To you, the other players, the people at home?
Lakitu: Well, I heard you’re an inventor. What’s the coolest thing you’ve created?
Ada: A Roomba mod that tracks down mice and traps them for you so you don’t have to lure them to the trap yourself.
Lakitu: And you’re only 13?
Ada: Yep.
Lakitu: Moving on. I was gonna save the best for last, but since we’re halfway through the reveal, I’m gonna do this now. Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou my lovely daughter?
A blue-shelled Lakitu floats to the island in her cloud, with her jaw dropped, and blushing.
Juliet: You promised you would keep this a secret!
Lakitu: Nuh-uh-uh, I promised I’d TRY to keep this a secret. There’s a difference.
Juliet (confessional): Living with my dad certainly isn’t easy. You can’t relax for an hour, and I have to pee in the woods if I want any privacy. There’s no woods where we live.
Chilli: You seem nice.
Nevaeh: I see host bias all over.
Juliet: Are we gonna have a problem?
Nevaeh: Why? Do you want one? ‘Cause I certainly don’t.
Lakitu: While you two continue that sweet, sweet drama, let’s bring out our next contestant, Mack!
A light-red Boo wearing a blue cape and top hat floats onto the scene.
Mack: Not bad, this is quite the cast you’ve put together.
Noticing Nicole isolating herself, Mack turns himself into a red Toad, hoping to make her not feel so alone.
Nicole: How did you do that?
Mack: Oh, it’s a power a lot of Boos have. But nobody seems to use it, if Rocky’s anything to go by.
Marty: Ooh, can you do me next?
Mack: Sorry, I haven’t learned Wubbas yet.
Lakitu: What we can learn is our next camper, or should I say campers-
A staff member whispers something into Lakitu’s ear.
Lakitu: Nevermind, Ele isn’t here yet. Onto Eloise then!
A blue Dry Bones steps onto the beach, wearing a red dress and sandals.
Lakitu: How are you doing, Eloise?
Eloise: Like a hiker ready to hit the trail, but not knowing what lies ahead of her.
Everyone goes silent.
Ada: Excited but nervous?
Eloise: Perhaps.
Bill: What do you mean “perhaps?”
Eloise: Your tongue is not the same as mine, but if we try, we’ll be just fine.
Juliet: Riddles AND rhymes. Can’t wait for our team to be obliterated by poor communication.
Eloise (confessional): I’m getting the feeling I’m like a polluted sky.
Lakitu: Moving on. Come on in, Georgia!
A yellow Birdo wearing a red dress, and a purple hat with a green ribbon, struts the Dock of Shame. She and Andy then see each other and automatically feel a connection.
Andy + Georgia: Yes.
Juliet (confessional): Seriously? They didn’t even try to hide that. We don’t even have teams yet and we already have our first alliance of the season. I don’t know if they’re a couple or just friends, but they’re gonna be dangerous, especially if they’re with me.
Lakitu: Wow, that was fast! What was going on then?
Georgia: I know all the trends, past, present, and future, so seeing someone else so passionate for art was like a dream come true for someone with my fashion sense.
Lakitu: While you two talk, I’m gonna introduce our youngest camper, Kit!
An adorable Piranha Plant with a light-blue head and purple spots trots along the dock, mouth wide open.
Kit: So this is what a summer camp’s like!
Lakitu: So, Kit, I’ve heard you’re on a mission.
Kit: Yep, explore every corner of the Mushroom World before I wilt. I’m only 12 years old right now, so I’ve got plenty of time yet.
Juliet: You’re only 12? You’re not even a real teen yet. What are you doing here?
Lakitu: That’s my Juliet. We have two more campers to introduce. The first of which is Bruce!
A purple Wiggler with orange shoes walks along the Dock of Shame.
Lakitu: What’s up, my dude?
Bruce: Well, I-
Suddenly, Nicole sprints over, stepping on Bruce’s foot, and tugs on Lakitu’s arm.
Nicole: Please, Lakitu! Leia had to have been cast, right? We auditioned together! Please!
Bruce: WATCH YOUR STEP, MISS!
Nicole (confessional): Here I am, terrible around strangers, hoping to play with Leia so she could support me. I just wish Bruce had some kind of heart.
Bruce (confessional): I have a heart, I just wish I could control my emotions. Wigglers are notorious for anger issues, which might be why they waited three seasons to cast one. I’m… gonna TRY to positively represent us.
Lakitu: Now’s the time to bring out our final camper! Here she is…
Nicole: Yes…
Lakitu: LLLLLLLLLLL…
Nicole: YES…
Lakitu: LAURA!
Nicole: NO!
Nicole (confessional): Okay, I should start drawing a map of hiding places.
A Magikoopa wearing an orange robe and light-blue hat flies to the island on her broomstick.
Lakitu: Welcome to the show, Laura.
Laura: Thanks. I knew my straight A history would get me here.
Chilli: Straight As? Whatever you’re doing, keep it up!
Nicole: This has to be a mistake! Leia and I were a 2-for-1 deal.
Lakitu: Welcome to Toad-al Drama? Not sure what else to tell ya.
Lakitu takes the campers to the two cabins they’ll be staying in for the next two weeks.
Lakitu: Let’s get to the teams, shall we? Andy, Georgia, Nevaeh, Juliet, Eloise, Chilli, Marty, Bruce, you are the Ravishing Ravens!
Georgia: Ravishing is the perfect word for us.
Juliet: I can agree on that one.
Lakitu: Bill, Mack, Nicole, Ada, Laura, Kit, you are the Bashful Bandits!
Laura: Uh, we’re down 2 members.
Lakitu: Ele will join you once he shows up. For now, just enjoy these next few hours before your first challenge of Toad-al! Drama! Reload!
The Ravishing Ravens bring their stuff into their cabin for the first time, and as they settle in, Nevaeh decides to try and fix her teammates’ impressions of her.
Nevaeh: Sorry about that. I’m in a rock band with my classmates, and this has pretty much become my regular style.
Andy: You’re in a rock band?
Marty: Can you sing for us?
Nevaeh: Oh, no, my singing voice is like Alanis Morrissette on drugs guest starring Taylor Swift.
Everyone just silently stares at her.
Nevaeh: It’s awful. That’s why I’m just the guitarist.
Georgia: You can still play us something. And Taylor Swift really isn’t that bad, so I doubt your voice is, either.
Nevaeh: Well… okay.
Nevaeh pulls out an acoustic guitar and prepares to play for her tiny audience.
Nevaeh: So, uhm, this is a song I just started writing last week. It’s still a work in progress, so… bear with me…
One day, we were driving 'round in your
Hyundai, when we hit downtown, and in
Some way, it came to me that
Maybe if we've known each other for…
Juliet: Okay, I think we’ve heard enough.
She sang like an ungodly abomination that would come from a goose and a frog drunk at a karaoke bar. One more line, and Juliet’s glasses may have shattered.
Nevaeh (confessional): I completely faked that. Grandma tells me my real singing voice is amazing, but I don’t like performing. I mean, obviously I do, but not that kind. Especially since I don’t want to take the spotlight away from our lead, Mitch. Shoutout to Mitch in the Glatrix! If you think the name’s dumb, you should see our drummer’s haircut.
Juliet pulls out her phone that she snuck in.
Juliet: Anyone up for a pizza party? You know, to celebrate our imminent victory?
Bruce: I don’t think we should-
Marty: Sounds cool. I’m in.
Andy: Where are we gonna get it from?
Juliet: There’s a Domino’s very close to us. We can order from there.
The team places their order, and almost immediately, a dark red Shy Guy in a chef hat comes to their cabin. He opens the door, and throws a big bowl of disgusting sludge at them.
Chef Guy: EAT UP, MOTHERF**KERS!
Juliet (confessional): Okay, who the hell asked for Chef Guy to come back? Did anyone care about him? Like… anyone?
Marty slides towards the sludge and swallows down a huge chunk.
Marty: Hey! Where’s the pepperoni?
Over at the Bashful Bandits, Bill was ready to explore what the island had in store for him.
Bill: Anyone up for a hike?
Kit: Ooh, yes. I would love to.
Bill: Anyone else?
Laura: As much as we would all like some fresh air, I think it would be safer for us to not expose ourselves to grizzly bears and mutant sharks, and bring down our numbers disadvantage even more.
Bill: If you say so.
The two head out and decide to walk up to that thousand-foot cliff from the start of season 1.
Bill: So, where are you from?
Kit: A bit of everywhere, really. I never stay in one place.
Bill: So you’re homeless?
Kit: No! No, I wouldn’t put it like that. I just like to wander around like a… what’s the word I’m looking for?
Bill: A nomad? No. A land pirate!
Kit: Yes! Just like that.
Bill: Can I call you Captain Kit?
Kit: Sure.
As the duo bonds, a third figure appears to them, a Shy Guy who seems to be on fire.
Ele: STOP! WHO GOES THERE?!
Kit: I’m Kit, and this is my new friend Bill. We’re a couple of campers here. Say, you must be that Ele guy Lakitu kept teasing. I think you’re on our team. He might still be on the dock if you wanna check in.
Ele: I’m not Ele.
A second Shy Guy seemingly made of water slides out from behind the fiery one.
Ele (F) + Ele (W): WE are Ele.
Ele (W): And what are you doing on OUR mountain?
Bill: Oh, really? How much did it cost to buy the camp?
Ele (W): I don’t think you understand just how powerful we are. We have skills in choking, stabbing, poisoning, wallet making-
Ele (F): WALLET MAKING?! You’re supposed to intimidate them!
Ele (W): I was just throwing them off guard. A moving target is a lot harder to kill. You should know that.
Ele (F): Let’s just cut to the chase.
A fight breaks out between the pairs. Bill attempts to punch the fiery being in the head, but ends up burning his head. Meanwhile, Kit tries to ram into his partner, only to go straight through him. Knowing physical contact wasn’t going to work, they were short on ideas.
Ele (F): Oh, no! Are you losing the 2-on-2? Maybe we should help you. Yes, we should.
Ele (W): How about we make it a 1-on-2? Both of you vs. just one of us. What do you say?
Ele (F): I say it’s mergin’ time.
Ele (W): No.
Ele (F): Why not?
Ele (W): That joke is so 2022.
Ele (F): Well can we fuse anyway?
Ele (W): Sure.
The two Eles soon become one, taking the form of a black-purple Shy Guy.
Ele: Is that better?
Bill: I think we should get out of here, Kit.
Bill takes a hold of Kit’s leafy arm and runs back to the cabin, only to be called back up as soon as they get there.
Lakitu: ATTENTION CAMPERS! I NOTICED BILL AND KIT FOUND THEIR LAST TEAMMATES, SO EVERYONE COME UP TO THE CLIFF FOR YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE OF THE SEASON!
After a tiring trek, the teams meet up with Lakitu, and notice that it looks all too familiar.
Lakitu: Welcome, campers. To celebrate the start of a soft reboot of the show, we’re bringing it back to season 1. To start, everyone will be asked to jump into the water below, which is infested with man-eating sharks. There is also a teeny tiny safe zone so that if we get sued for serious injuries, our lawyers can just say it was a skill issue. Anyone who refuses to jump will be forced to wear a Luigi hat for the rest of the day.
Laura: I’m pretty sure Luigi jumped last time.
Juliet: Can confirm.
Lakitu: Were either of you there? Didn’t think so. Now, as I was saying, the team with the most people to jump wins the challenge.
Andy: Woah, woah, woah, isn’t there supposed to be a part 2?
Lakitu: Sorry. Time constraints. This is probably the longest episode in the show’s history so far. But I will throw in an advantage tomorrow. In the meantime, Laura, what are you thinkin’?
Laura: Pro, a point for my team whether or not I make it. Con, I can’t take a shark. Pro, my wand probably can.
Laura jumps off the edge and lands right in the safe zone.
Lakitu: Show-off. Nicole, you wanna join her?
Nicole: Uhm… can someone go with me?
Lakitu: No problem. Ele? Oh, and by the way, you’re gonna have to split up.
Ele (F): Sorry. Fire and water don’t mix.
Ele (W): Alrighty then, coward.
The water half does a cannonball and makes a massive splash that blows some of the sharks away, while landing smackdab in the center of the safe zone
Ele (W): BET YOU CAN’T DO THAT!
Ele (F): Oh, watch me do better!
The fire half then does several flips into the water, but misses the safe zone by a couple yards. One of the sharks tries to eat him, but he instantly punches it to death, before tearing another one in half before eating it himself. Everyone else stares at what they just witnessed.
Lakitu: That… was not… supposed… to happen.
Ele (F): Think you’re so cool now?
Ele (W): Come on, we can kill sharks at any time! You weren’t even close to the safe zone, while I landed in the center and made a huge frickin’ splash!
Ele (F): So you made a splash, big deal.
Ele (W): It almost threw everyone else down the hill.
Ele (F): Shut up, I barely felt a thing!
Lakitu: Anyway, Nicole, you said you were gonna go.
Nicole: Uhm… I think I’ve changed my mind.
Ele (W) (confessional): If there’s one thing we can agree on…
Ele (F) (confessional): THIS GIRL IS F**KING USELESS!
Lakitu: Well, there’s our first Luigi hat of the day. Mack, do you want to avoid being the second, or being Ele’s lunch?
Mack shifts into a red-shelled Koopa and dives into the water, quickly swimming to the safe zone once he learned he didn’t make it in.
Lakitu: The Bashful Bandits currently have 4 points, while the Ravishing Ravens have nothing.
Bruce: Well maybe if you gave us a chance to get some points, we’d have some!
Lakitu: And just like that, Bruce has volunteered to be the Ravens’ premiere jumper!
Bruce: *sigh* Of course.
Bruce closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, jumps off the cliff, and lands in the safe zone.
Lakitu: And just like that, the Ravens are on the board! How about you, Nevaeh?
Without any hesitation, Nevaeh jumps off, also landing in the safe zone.
Nevaeh: WOOOO! THAT’S HOW YA DO IT!
Bruce: So, uhm… remind me what your name is?
Nevaeh: I’m Nevaeh, but you can call me N, Nev, Nevvy, V, Vivi, Veah, whatever works best for you.
Bruce: Nevaeh’s a pretty name.
Nevaeh: Really? Thanks.
Bruce: Anyways, outcast to outcast, I’m in need of a lot of help getting over my anger issues-
Nevaeh: Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I mean… I don’t really know how to stay calm myself, but you can always come to me if you have any problems.
Bruce: Thanks for your support.
Nevaeh: Anytime.
Nevaeh (confessional): I can see Bruce is trying very hard to keep it together, and I guess it’s very hard to do so when it’s in your DNA. He needs all the help he can get, and why wouldn’t I be there for him?
Lakitu: So, Marty…
Everyone hears a plop from down below, and see Kit floating in the water just outside the safe zone.
Kit: Not sure what everyone’s so scared about. This is kinda relaxing.
Lakitu: Let the free-for-all commence!
Marty considers jumping, but looks down and starts sliding back to the team’s mat before Lakitu takes off his hat and replaces it with a Luigi one.
Lakitu: I think green looks good on you. But I may or may not return this tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Georgia’s right on the edge, wondering whether to jump or not.
Georgia: So the Bandits are leading 5-2. Nicole and Marty, one from each team, have already said no, so assuming everyone else jumps down… oh boy.
Knowing her choice could be the decision between losing and just barely getting by, Georgia reluctantly jumps off the cliff, and purposefully lands outside the safe zone.
Lakitu: It’s 5-3 now still in favor of the Bandits, but I think Georgia has other things to worry about.
A hungry shark approaches her, but she stands still, while nobody else knows if it’s in fear, or intimidation. In reality, it’s a bit of both. The shark attacks, and bruises the girl until it decides it’s had enough.
Georgia: That should convince those Bandits how dangerous it is down here.
But sure enough, Bill from the other team jumps down, landing perfectly in the safe zone.
Lakitu: It’s 6-3 now! The Ravens are being obliterated!
Chilli: Think again!
Chilli and Juliet both dash off the cliff and land in the safe zone.
Lakitu: Yes! That’s my girl!
Chilli: What am I, a brown banana?
Lakitu: *sigh* And Chilli too.
Eloise and Andy are next in the water. With just one camper to go, it’s anyone’s game.
Lakitu: Ada, the score is 7-6 for the Ravens now. If you take the plunge, the score is tied.
Marty: So if that happens, do we both get the advantage?
Lakitu: No, blobblehead. If everyone has an advantage, nobody does.
Ada: Well, then. If we can’t have it, nobody can.
Ada dives in, securing the score 7-7.
Lakitu: Congratulations! You both lost!
Bill: Come on, nobody lost. It was a tie.
Lakitu: Well it wouldn’t be as interesting if I said everyone won. Anyways, nobody gets the advantage tomorrow. As for you guys at home, I hope you enjoyed this long-awaited season premiere of Toad-al! Drama! Reload!