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Most Disturbing Things in Official Mario Media
On 2023-11-14 at 04:06:01
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14. Barefoot Yoshi
Yeah, this is one of the reasons I didn't make it a Google scavenger hunt. If you look up "barefoot Yoshi" nowadays, odds are you'll be met with some fetishy stuff, but what if I told you there's an activity book from 199-something that actually reveal's Yoshi's adorable paw?
Now, with his design changing throughout the years, I highly doubt this is accurate, but it's nice to see Nintendo having the balls to do that.
13. Various characters getting drunk
In a few games from the 90's, there are quite a few examples of characters getting completely wasted. The most appropriate example for this site is Bowser chugging down a bottle of champagne if he wins in Super Mario Kart.
In one of the Wario Land games, there are also penguin enemies that'll throw beer mugs at Wario, turning him into, this is the official name, "Drunk Wario."
Unsurprisingly, these were both Japan-only.
12. A Shy Guy without its mask
Now I'm kinda cheating with this one, but it's still fascinating. Shy Guys' main thing is that they always wear masks because they're shy guys. But there are a couple of times where the masks came off, and they didn't even have to lose a singing contest. The first one is from Mario Power Tennis. If Shy Guy wins, during the cutscene where he's collecting his trophy, he'll trip and lose his mask. When he gets up, his back is turned to the viewer, but Luigi is mortified at what he sees.
Okay, that image doesn't show fear, but it's the best I could find.
There's also a blink-and-you'll-miss-it scene in the Mario Movie. While the camera is speedrunning through the rave scene, you'll see a Shy Guy take off its mask to a few other soldiers, who react in the same terror Luigi did back in Mario Power Tennis. Like that game, his back is turned to us. I kinda like how we never see what's behind the mask. It helps to maintain that sense of mystery that's always been a huge part of the character.
11. Donkey Kong holding a shotgun
In Donkey Kong 64, one of the weapons DK can use is his Coconut Gun, which is made to look like some barrels slapped together. But during development, it originally looked like a realistic gun.
Once Miyamoto saw it, he immediately drew up the design we know now.
10. Mario negotiating an arms deal
Okay this, hardly anything more than a joke, but it's still weird that this exists. In a commercial for Super Mario All-Stars, a dull but fast-talking narrator is talking about how everything is Mario, such as, "Mario throwing fireballs." "Mario throwing turnips." And for what I can only hope is comedic effect, "Mario negotiating an arms deal." Why this was included? I don't know. But considering it's just a few-second gag, I put it very low on the list.
9. Daisy with a third eye
To many people, Super Smash Bros. Melee is the best Smash game ever, but something really creepy lurks within the trophy collection. While checking out Daisy's trophy, you're able to move the camera around and zoom in and out. If you move to the back of the trophy and zoom in far enough, you can see a third eye on the back of Daisy's head.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but humans are only supposed to have two eyes. Talk about eyes on the back of her head.
8. Some creepy Galaxy trees
One of the creepiest things in the Mario series. In Super Mario Galaxy 2, while you're in Shiverburn Galaxy, if you use first-person mode and zoom in on the cliffs in the background, you will see three shadowy figures just standing there menacingly.
But it gets worse. In the files, these are called "HellValleySkyTree." Did you catch that first part? "Hell Valley." What the heck? Apparently, that's the internal name of the stage, but regardless, this is nightmare-inducing.
7. Mario finding Peach's vibrator
In Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, while looking through Peach's room in her castle, if you go in between the blue chair and the fireplace, you'll see the message, "Found Toadstool's ???"
You'll also see dialog about how Peach doesn't want anyone but her grandma to know she has it, and it seems like its very private. Almost too private. While many fans speculate that it's a vibrator... I mean, nobody's said it wasn't. While I tried not to include unconfirmed fan theories on this list, come on. You try and think of a better explanation.
6. A Paper Mario murder scene
Okay, a lot of people know about this one, but it's still worth talking about. In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, you'll enter Rogueport and be greeted with a frickin' noose smackdab in the center of the town. Like, seriously, how was that allowed? And that's not even the worst of it. In the Japanese version only, if you enter one of the buildings, you'll see an outline of a Toad, and blood on the floor.
Yep. A murder scene took place here. In a family game. Obviously, this was removed in other releases, but they still kept the noose.
5. Luigi reading a history book about Hitler
This is where things really get bad. In my mind, these top five are interchangeable, and I could never truly make up my mind on what was the worst.
In the 1990's, Nintendo and some other company released the Mario Quiz Cards. They worked like flash cards, with... fun?... Mario pictures on them, with such family-friendly topics as Prohibition, sweatshops, and Adolf Hitler. Yep. Hitler is canon in the Marioverse.
I don't even have words.
4. Mario serving in Vietnam
Back in the 80's, Nintendo didn't really know what they wanted Mario to be. Before he was out wasting his time saving non-existent princesses in the completely wrong castles, he had many other jobs such as a carpenter, a demolition worker, and a soldier in the Vietnam War. In the Game & Watch game Mario's Bombs Away, you can play as Mario fighting in a war and using bombs to defeat enemy soldiers.
While it's not confirmed to be Vietnam, due to the jungle setting and the time period, I can't understand why it wouldn't be.
3. A straight-up naked Koopa Troopa
We all know Koopa Troopas, known for their many uses of their shells. We also know that when kicked out of their shells, they have cute little shirts or boxer shorts underneath, depending on the media. Now who here remembers the Super Mario World TV show? *the crows goes wild* And not just because of Mama Luigi? *dead silence* Turns out stuff really did happen outside of that one episode. In the premiere episode Fire Sale,
Notice how he's wearing boxers like in some of the games. Now fast forward to the end, and Kootie-Pie's trapped inside an ice block after being defeated by the Mario Bros. and Yoshi at his most annoying. While screaming at her Koopa to get her out, it zooms to him lounging around with no shell, and for some reason, no boxers either. There's also a book/magazine suspiciously placed right where his junk would be.
Look, I didn't wanna do this, but I was committed to making sure every entry on this list had a screenshot of the actual cursed bit, even if it meant going to YouTube.
This is so obscure that I've never seen anybody else talk about it other than one review guy.
2. LUIGI FRICKIN' DIES!
Originally, this would've been no. 3 because of how much more well-known this is, but I decided to bump it up because if you read the heading, you know that this is way worse than public nudity. In a trailer for Smash Ultimate DLC, I don't exactly remember what happens, but you can see Luigi's soul leave his body, suggesting that he's officially dead.
If you think it was bad enough that Nintendo had the balls to kill off one of their most iconic characters, right after, they sent out a statement saying, "Luigi is okay." W... w-WHAT?! What the actual frick? I'm glad he's fine, but gee wiz, don't scare us like that!
1. I don't even think I can say it
This is by far one of the most obscure pieces of official Mario media. On the Satellaview, there was a "virtual magazine" called Shitamachi Ninjo Gekijo, more commonly known as the Lily Franky Theater. Despite featuring Mario plush toys as the main characters, a lot of adult stuff happens, such as smoking, murder, Mario pulling a crap-filled spoon out of his anus, do you see why something from here would be number one? In one of the final episodes, Toad convinces Peach to... do it?
Since they're plushies, it's not very graphic, but it's still something that kids shouldn't be exposed to.
Was there anything I missed? (I thought of a few things recently, so I know there is.) What was the most fascinating? Feel free to leave a comment and/or give your own examples.
I'm curious to see what other hidden gems you'll share from your Mario-related explorations. It's a testament to the enduring popularity of the franchise that even after all these years, there are still surprises to be found.