Greentext Story

I have decided to write a story to entertain you all... I hope you'll enjoy it, it's not very good...
>be me
>on MKPC at 4AM, I don't know what my parents would do if they found out
>4AM because that's when all the Easterners and Europeans are wide awake
>online racing, of course
>having a good time
>gain lots of points
>hear loud footsteps
>ohfrick.jpg
>realize it wasn't Mom or Dad, neither of them are easy to wake
>start to hear screaming
>it was coming from outside
>get my shoes and run out
>look around for a bit
>realize my neighbors were being chased around in their backyard
>there was this big, burly man
>seven feet tall, hands like rocks
>those poor fellows were all being beaten
>knew I had to do something about it
>if I had access to their phone I would have called the cops
>maybe could've used one of ours instead
>besides, I don't think even they could deal with this guy
>made lots of foolish decisions because I was scared
>decided stupidly to try and take the brute on by myself
>climbed to the top of the roof
>roofs are pretty soundproof, I could take him by surprise after climbing down the chimney like Santa Claus
>somehow his ears were just as superhuman as his strength
>he heard me up there
>smashed a hole in the roof
>I fell down
>it really hurt a WHOLE lot
>he smashed me to death with the hardest punches I have ever seen
>I am literally dead now
>then he let out a big vomit
>he had drank like ten gallons of pepsi
>I don't know how someone could drink that much
>the entire house was flooded with a mixture of vomit and pepsi
>I was dead, but at least I still was able to enjoy it
He may have been a practical Goliath, but I was no David. I was just dead.