SPACE FOR ANYTHING (New)

I was going to make a topic about this, but...last time, that ended up being complete nonsense, & what was supposed to be serious ended up being insanely jokey, which I neither planned nor appreciated(the antithesis of what got me banned). This time, I'm taking a different approach.

Basically, I appreciate the unban, but I'll be honest with you, I haven't changed. Not in a literal sense, but only enough to understand that I was wrong for saying what I said. Beyond that, I haven't been making much progress. TLDR: I'm still a problem, to you all, & to myself. And since I've been...watching you guys, I know that that's the last thing this website needs right now. So I've preemptively decided to not be active until I get things right. Maybe post a track or 2, or a message here & there. Maybe I'll cave around my bday(dad is right, I'm a wuss), or something. I don't know. Point is, if I can't rely on myself to not say nonsense(which is my entire online personality, I just throw shit at the wall & see what sticks), I'll just say nothing at all. It's a half-assed way out, but it's far safer than risking a repeat of whatever the hell I was cooking back in April.

Finally, I need to actually apologize, which I know is not gonna be taken seriously because of how the previous apology turned out, and even if you don't accept it(fair enough, I've proven to be untrustworthy), it'd be really weird of me to not do this, so:

I'm sorry for:

-Being overly racist to specific nationalities(Ireland, Thailand(I think? That was a while ago))for personal reasons.

-Being overly transphobic on multiple occasions.

-Writing incest & ero fanfiction about a lot of the website members(which have since been deleted) without your consent. It was also pretty poorly written, for what it's worth.

-Constantly "looking down" on others, and trying to invalidate them for petty, selfish reasons.

-Pretty much being a dick intentionally for the sake of having some antagonistic force, purely for dramatics & personal enjoyment(because I don't think any of you were enjoying it).

-Saying random shit without forethought, instead of micromanaging every message I send online.

-Being rude to the moderators(well, moderator, I guess. I think it was only really Max. Don't see much of the other mods) on multiple occasions.

-Lying for attention, posting random crap for attention, pretty much doing everything for attention. Not"notice me senpai" attention, just, normal attention. Being an attention whore.

-Not having realized how wrong I was, & for not trying to mellow out sooner.

A long ass list of offences, for which I served a comparatively short punishment.

Either way, I know that you all think that is probably a load of shit. And I don't blame you. Which is why I'm dipping. Whenever I 100% come back, it won't be a load of shit, & I'll have genuinely changed. But 4 months wasn't enough time. Heck, I was enjoying the break. Not having this crutch to rely meant I had to interact with people who I never had to face with it. On one hand, I'm now seriously down bad for some of my extended family members, & I'm repeating the same mistakes that led me to be like how I was in the first place. On the other hand, I'm actually making friends, & now I'm able to hold conversations with others. Forced interaction has been really good for me. Not for my grades though, now they're worse. Not sure what's happened there.

Anyway, I realized that the longer I make this, the more likely people are to skip the information(or maybe it's drivel) held within. I think this is what happened last time. I have no grounds for thinking so, but I do.

TLDR, I'm thankful to have another opportunity, but I haven't leveled up to the point where I think I actually deserve said opportunity, and so I won't really be active until I reach that point.

Until then, stay frosty.