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subjective

slight insperation from @KoopaNerd29, but I have made topics like these before him



Swoop: you are a sweat and there is no denying

Para-Biddybud: you still question why he's in the game but don't care nonetheless, or you're meta, or you use biddybuggy

Baby Peach: you wanna be peach but meta

Baby Daisy: you wanna be daisy but meta

Spike: ?? idk man

Goomba: the moment you saw Goomba finally get in Mario kart you started playing him and didn't stop

Baby Mario: you're either 5 or you wanna be Mario but meta

Peepa: you only use him in October

Dry Bones: you wish snaking was still a thing

Baby Luigi: you're either 5 or you wanna be Luigi but meta

Sidestepper: you saw the npcs and made it your personality, but cant get fish bone

Fish Bone: you saw the npcs and you needed to get the rarest one

Baby Rosalina: you wanna be rosalina but meta

Nabbit: you wanna be meta but more unique, or you're 5 maining him in mainline games

Toadette: you're swoop, but better

Toad: you think he's meta like toadette but not really

Shy Guy: you just wanna pick a simple character, or you have amazing character taste

Stingby: Mario 3d world fan

Koopa Troopa: you wish the freerunning koopa was a costume

Lakitu: this person doesn't exist

Cheep Cheep: hehe funny fish in Mario kart

Peach: youre a young girl on plushbuggy or you just like the costumes

Daisy: you have great character taste, or you're a sweat at this game

Coin Coffer: this person doesn't exist

Yoshi: you're basic, or you use biker Yoshi in which good character taste

Monty Mole: ??? idk bro

Dolphin: you main dolphin dasher

Bowser Jr.: you're definitely a kid

Mario: you are beyond basic, unless you're dune rider

Rocky Wrench: you're a memer

Luigi: eh okay

Pokey: T A L L

Hammer Bro: cool ig

Penguin: you either watch TCNick3 or you know who Kevin is

Birdo: you think she should have the same stats as Yoshi but don't care

Snowman: you wish he was Mr Blizzard

Piranha Plant: this is your Petey replacement

Pauline: Mario Odyssey player

King Boo: you just wanna use the spooky ghost

Conkdor: T A L L, but even T A L L E R

Rosalina: Mario galaxy nerd

Cataquack: Mario sunshine fan

Wiggler: long boi

Wario: YOU PICK... WAAAAAAAAA-

Donkey Kong: you like the new design even though its worse

Cow: you for some reason still use her even after the hype

Chargin' Chuck: football player

Waluigi: you needed him in smash yesterday

Pianta: Mario sunshine fan but not as much as a memer

Bowser: knockout player, 5 years old, or you just wanna go fast without realizing he has like the worst handling I think