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Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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Pianta wrote:
https://i.postimg.cc/BQv869qk/pobrane.jpg

[A lone RV is driving down a desert road. Camera cuts to the dashboard, where a bobblehead of the former Civilian sits. A hand comes from offscreen and flicks the head.]
Sniper: "Boom. Headshot."

[Meet the Sniper text appears. Cuts to the Sniper driving his RV as Valve's edited version of Magnum Force plays in the background.]

Sniper: "Snipin's a good job, mate! [He pauses to make a right turn] It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-"

[Cuts to a shot of the Sniper brushing his teeth. There are three photographs on the right of his mirror of a BLU Engineer, Heavy, and Scout - the Engineer and the Scout are crossed off, but the Heavy is not.]

Sniper "-'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead."

[Scene cuts to view inside the Sniper's scope. The Sniper headshots the Heavy from the previous scene; the bullet shatters the Bottle of the Demoman behind him, causing the top half of the Bottle to embed itself in his remaining eye. The Demoman flails around, takes out his Grenade Launcher, fires three grenades wildly in the air and falls over a ledge, with his stray grenades igniting a cluster of explosive barrels below and causing a chain explosion.]

Sniper: "Ooh."

[Cuts to the Sniper talking on a pay phone.]

Sniper: "Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- Not a "crazed gunman", dad, I'm an assassin! ...Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's a mental sickness!"

[Back to Sniper in the RV.]

Sniper: "I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it."

[Cuts to Sniper climbing the tall tower in Gold Rush Stage 3, Cap 1. The Sniper waits at the top of the tower for a shot.]

Sniper: [Glances away from his scope briefly to address the viewer] "I think his mate saw me."

[A bullet ricochets off the ledge under the Sniper.]

Sniper: "Yes, yes he did!"

[The Sniper takes cover as return fire ricochets off the tower.]

[Cuts to a time-lapse image of the Sniper waiting for a shot. Several jars of urine fill up to his side, as the Sniper drinks coffee and waits. As the sun starts to set, the Sniper smiles and finally takes his shot.]

[The Sniper backstabs a Spy through the chest with his Kukri on Gold Rush Stage 3, then slides him off the knife with a satisfied expression.]

Sniper: "Feelins'? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?"

[Cut back to the RV]

Sniper: "Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards."

[Sniper takes off his hat and puts it on his chest, standing over the dead Spy.]

Sniper: "Be polite."

[Sniper headshots a Medic, a Soldier, and a Pyro, blowing the last's head clean off.]

Sniper: "Be efficient."

[Slow-motion shot of the Sniper reloading his rifle.]

Sniper: "Have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

[The Sniper fires directly at the camera. The screen blacks out.]

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]

[Cut back to the pay phone.]

Sniper: "Dad.... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the phone!"

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]

The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: "-AAAAalright then."

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder]

Spy: "Gentlemen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: "No? Then we still have a problem."

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back]

Soldier: "...and a knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] "And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

[The Soldier and Heavy chuckle]

[The Spy turns to face the Scout]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's mother]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: "Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[[[Right Behind You]] plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular]

Soldier: "Oh!"

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground]

Scout: "Gimme that!"

Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides an Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flashback to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper, who engages the Spy with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw]

Medic: "Raus, raus!"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles]

Medic: [gasps] "Nein..."

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious!" [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] "He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... all right, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow]

xd3

fellas we won

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
banger ass direct
genius5

Nintendo Direct predictions

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
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United Kingdom
Breaking Bad: The Video Game
Cory in the House DS game port
Untitled Waluigi game
Spongebob: Battle For Bikini Bottom Re-Rehydrated

And Wave 6 of the Booster Course Pass

JESSE WE NEED TO COOK NINTENDO SWITCHES
xd4
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
all i want at this point is more on SMRPG

Mario Kart BCP wave 6 predictions

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
Bonk_i0 wrote:
Bonk_i0 wrote:
Acorn:
Tour Rome Avanti
GCN Mushroom Bridge
SNES Bowser Castle 3
Tour Piranha Plant Cove

Blue Shell:
Tour Madrid Drive
GCN Dino Dino Jungle
Tour Piranha Plant Pipeline
WII Rainbow Road.

Characters:
Funky Kong
R.O.B.

The ROB enjoyers sure did come out today huh

I've never played Mario Kart DS.

and
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
Acorn Cup
Tour Madrid Drive
Tour Piranha Plant Pipeline
DS Airship Fortress
GCN DK Mountain

Spiny Cup
Tour Rome Avanti
Tour Piranha Plant Cove
SNES Bowser's Castle 3
Wii Rainbow Road

Why two Tour tracks per cup?

So you want 4 Tour tracks in one cup?πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

Your predictions are fine as is. But I just find it nauseating whenever I see two Tour tracks per cup as opposed to just the one.

You must feel nauseated quite  often, then.

And just why is that?

Because you have to have 2 per cup due to PPPl and PPC
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
Acorn Cup
Tour Madrid Drive
Tour Piranha Plant Pipeline
DS Airship Fortress
GCN DK Mountain

Spiny Cup
Tour Rome Avanti
Tour Piranha Plant Cove
SNES Bowser's Castle 3
Wii Rainbow Road

Why two Tour tracks per cup?

Because you fucking have to πŸ’€
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
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Well, you don't have to, per se. But I thought it would be interesting.
Ok, to avoid a definitely not illegal double post I'm just going to do mine here.
https://i.postimg.cc/RhMcn4N0/Mario-Kart-8-Deluxe-BCP-wave-6-predictions.png

...Uh? Singapore and Gorge are in the game. And where are PPPl and PPC? πŸ’€
up2
xd3

j

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
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United Kingdom
mid letter ngl

Mario cart

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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Lelyyyy wrote:
osc-omb wrote:
Because shopping carts are cool

They all say this until they get run over by one.
RIP Angie, gone but not forgotten

Fuck you kork

Nah he already fucked too much with his sister to even deserve to be fucked right now. The others need it more. Who do you want to smash right now ? Pick your character.

Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki Maki Maki maki Maki Maki
xd1
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
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United Kingdom
Because shopping carts are cool

They all say this until they get run over by one.
RIP Angie, gone but not forgotten

Fuck you kork
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
MewMew wrote:
croassung wrote:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mMfjzz_pzA8/maxresdefault.jpg
my favorite carti actually never had this

GET THE ALL-NEW MARIO CART ! ! ONLY 90% OFF AND AT LOW, LOW PRICES ! ! PRICES SO LOW EVERYONE I KNOW IS DEAD ! !

Omg I wanna buy for my Ninedo Swiss pls gib me
xd4
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
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United Kingdom
Mayro kratt real

What are your Keybinds for MKPC?

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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xrunner48 wrote:
Move forward
W

Move back
S

Turn left
A

Turn right
D

Use item
E

Item backwards
Q

Item forwards
V

Jump/drift
Spacebar

Inflate balloon
Shift

Rear view
X

Pause
Enter

Quit
Escape

aint no fucking way you drift with space πŸ’€β˜ πŸ‘½πŸ’€β˜ πŸ‘½
up4

I'm Taking a break from Tracks

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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Wal68 wrote:
osc-omb wrote:
I'm sure all 2 people that've ever rated or commented on your tracks are sad rn
None of his creations have 2 reviews :p

It's like me with my Fways Kart series of tracks, it received nearly 0 attention. My Excitebike Arena remake, on the other hand, received lots of positive reviews.

I feel like the era of quick mode tracks and MS Paint-style tracks is dead, the only way to have success now is to create pixel art tracks or Paint.NET-style tracks.

If Fways's Mario Kart 1 (O) was released today, barely anyone would've noticed it and it would've never got a huge amount of reviews, if any.

No one cares about quick mode or MS Paint tracks anymore, creating them is almost a waste of time nowadays, Wargor might as well remove the quick mode track editor completely from the game and no one would complain xD

Is that a problem that tracks are getting better? And standards will with them. And I didn't mean 2 on a specific track. TheFakePrimeTime commented once and 'router rated 2 tracks
Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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I'm sure all 2 people that've ever rated or commented on your tracks are sad rn
xd8

Does anyone think all the Mario Kart Courses that Haven't been Remade will Ever get Brought Back?

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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Obviously they will come back as long as Mario Kart is still running
thumbsup1

Ranking every Mario Kart by map quality

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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TPOT-Mario wrote:
8. SNES
A bunch of L's, U's, and O's with the only exception being Mario Circuit 2. Also practically only 3-5 maps with 8 colors.

7. GBA
Imported all the SNES trash, but for a 2D game, they made their maps long like 64 so game feels sluggish.

6. DS
Hot take: MKDS maps suck. Retro wise they got the SNES trash, oofed the GCN tracks, N64 and GBA tracks are ok but some boring maps where chosen(Peach Circuit, Moo Moo Farm, etc.) Nitro wise, some are amazing like Bowsers Castle and Luigi's mansion, while others are atrocious like Waluigi Pinball(skill issue I keep dying to the pinballs) and Figure 8 Circuit.

5. 64
The maps are ok, but really long. They're still fun tho.

4. 3DS
Fucked up the Wii maps the other retro tracks were ok. The nitro tracks... Jesus Christ they were amazing.

3. Wii
Same case as 7, just better nitro tracks(imo)

2. GCN
No retro tracks, all are amazing except the Mario Circuit sand pit chunk

1. WiiU/Switch
Although they fucked up a couple of tracks they have insane quality

If that's the case you're playing MKSC on 50cc

Doors anyone?

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
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battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
Dietsoda wrote:
Roblox is kinda shit so, NEIN

I pla like 2 games on it sometimes and that's it

How Can I be better at MKPC

Messages 2495 - Golden Mario Golden Mario
vs26689 pts ★ Legend
battle10076 pts ★ Champion
United Kingdom
Not nudge :mario_dead:ing everything
mario_dead3
thumbsup1

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